School Dazed

Miss Peabody's sixth grade math class was in rare form that morning. While she dutifully worked long division on the blackboard, Travis Anderson, the class clown, was rubbing the end of Gina Weston's blond ponytail in black shoe polish. He only did it because he liked her and she wouldn't pay any attention to him.

While Travis was occupied with dyeing the hair of his one true love, Charlie Canton repeatedly pegged Kevin Hall in the back of the head with balls of paper. He didn't particularly care for Kevin because Kevin was a self-righteous little prig whose parents had money. Charlie didn't even have parents, unless he counted his foster parents, which he didn't. Money was equally lacking.

Bermuda Robinson drew rainbows on the back of her math book with gel ink pens. Cynthia Appleton passed a note to her BFF Wendy Hamilton, which was full of caustic gossip about all the other girls in the class. One of her better creations, if she did say so herself.

Miss Peabody's classroom was completely out of control, and as usual, she was clueless. Having successfully worked the problem on the board, Miss Peabody turned to face her class. As she opened her mouth to ask if anyone had any questions, Chester Boone...